By: Anonymous
Silverspring, MD
My parents divorced when I was one. My mother became less religious and married a secular Jew in Chicago. I grew up in the secular environment of my mother and stepfather. I played on a hockey team, acting in plays and commercials, and hung out with friends, just like a normal teenager. During my freshman year in high school my mother divorced for the second time and my life started to change.
Slowly my mom started to become a little bit more religious due to the kiruv efforts of the Posners in Chicago. During my mothers transition she started to date a very rich, influential, and religious Jew in Chicago. He wanted me to become more religious, and with the help of a Rabbi in Skokie, Rabbi S-, I began to learn about Judaism. The first goal of Rabbi S- was to teach me Aleph-Bais and perform my Bar Mitzvah (by the age of 14, I still had not had a formal Bar Mitzvah). We spent the summer after my freshman year perfecting my reading and learning my Bar Mitzvah Haftorah. After accomplishing this feat it was suggested that I go to a yeshiva the following year. I didn’t mind learning a bit of Judaism, but going to yeshiva was a little too much. With the pushing of my mother, the influence of her boyfriend, and the love of my Rebbe I was forced to go to Yeshiva of Greater Washington in Silver Spring, Maryland.
Going from public high school to a Yeshiva wasn’t the prettiest of adjustments. I absolutely despised yeshiva and hated having to keep all the rules of the school and the religion. I agreed with the basic ideas of Judaism but I just wanted to have unrestricted fun. Out of this horrible situation there was a glimmer of light, Rabbi L-. The Rav was down-to-earth, funny, Sephardic, and showed that he actually cared. This bond that I made with Rabbi L- would ultimately help me to become religious. I returned to Chicago no longer wanting to go to Yeshiva, turned off from religion.
Even though my mother broke up with her boyfriend, she still wanted me to go to Jewish school and enrolled me in Ida Crown Jewish Academy. I was getting along with neither the school nor my mother, and I wanted to move out. My mother suggested that I go to a family friend in Glenwood Springs, Colorado, where I would complete my high school term. I would work, and my grandmother would help pay for the room and board. As a secular teenager I agreed to the plan, and moved to Colorado to start my junior year at public high school.
As I started to adjust to the new school and hockey team, I began to enjoy my new life in Colorado. With the direction of the family friend, I began straightening my life and making goals: to finish high school, work for a year, play hockey, and then go to college (hopefully with a hockey scholarship).
All the plans were running smoothly until I suddenly began to think. As I came back from the usual “everyone-gets-drunk” party, my thinking began. I climbed up on top of the jeep in front of the house, and lay there thinking. It was at this moment that I had my life-changing talk with the Almighty. I believed in the religion, and felt that life actually did have a purpose, but I was too lazy to do anything about it. I told G-d that I would get around to becoming religious, but right now I just wanted to have fun.
Hashem didn’t like this plan, and decided to send me a message. My friend and I worked at the same restaurant together, and I always used to borrow his car (even though I had no license). One night, I finished working for him, and told him I would take the car home, and then return to pick him up an hour later. Returning to pick him up, I attempted a 30-MPH turn at 65 MPH. The physics of this maneuver did not work properly; I spun out of control into a ditch on the side of the road. Thank G-d I was ok, but the car was absolutely totaled. Just my luck, the cops happened to roll by, and quickly figured out what happened. I was charged for driving without a license and insurance in my friend’s rental car. This was the worst moment of my entire life. Later, I worked out a deal with the insurance company to pay the damage of $6,000.
After this incident, I received a letter inviting me to fulfill my life’s dream. It was an invitation to tryouts for a semi-professional hockey league. Even though I was working 6 days a week to pay the insurance company, I managed to get the weekend off to attend the tryouts. Many teams scouted me, but one team was particularly interested, and requested my attendance at their private tryout, the following week. I would surely get accepted, and all I would have to do was show up. Unfortunately, my boss denied me another weekend off, threatening to fire me. I couldn’t risk losing my job because of the debt, so I missed the opportunity of a lifetime.
Despite these speed bumps, my goals continued and I received the best job ever – working for a bar in Aspen, Colorado. I had an apartment across from the best skiing mountains in America, $25/hour cash, a fake ID, and I was playing on the Aspen hockey team, preparing for college hockey. Even though I had everything, I really had nothing.
During this period, I received a phone call from my father. Ever since my parents had divorced, my father had continually tried to influence me to embrace my heritage, and become orthodox. He would always pray for this and never gave up in his attempts. One week, he suggested that I go visit Rabbi L-, in Maryland, for Rosh Hashana. I agreed because I liked Rabbi L-, but also because my father was paying for the trip. The whole time I was there, the Rabbi argued about the direction in which my life was heading. I finally gave in, and said I would do something. I returned to Colorado, closed my bank accounts, quit my job and my position on the hockey team, and left for Israel, subsequently enrolling in the Derech Institute for Torah Studies.
Hashem knew that the only way that I would become religious was if I would stop my hockey career and my pursuit of fun. Even though the car accident was the worst day of my life, I have no doubt that if I had made the hockey team, I would not be religious today. So perhaps, that day was better than I thought it was; it was a day of Hashgacha Pratis. To curb my pursuit of fun, Hashem had inundated me with so much fun, that I needed to change my life. That’s when I went to Rabbi L-’s house and realized where my life was heading.
I would like to thank G-d for helping me find the right path. If you would ask me if the horrible crash, missing the hockey career, and giving up the pursuit of fun was worth it, I would unhesitatingly respond, Boruch Hashem YES!